The 10 Types of Yelp Reviewers, Which One Are You?

I have recently gotten into Yelp.  I enjoy reading reviews, both of places I haven’t been, so that I can see if I’m heading into somewhere considered worthwhile, as well as to places I like, so that I can see if my assessment of the business matches the opinions of the masses.

I also enjoy writing reviews on places that I feel deserve a review.  I won’t write a review for every place I go to, but only if a place really sticks out at me.

It got me thinking, I wonder if you could categorize Yelp users based on their reviews.  Here are a few (somewhat tongue-in-cheek at times) categories based on their reviews:

The Chatterbox Yelp Reviewer

If you have over 100 Yelp reviews under your belt, this is you.  This person loves to tell the world about what they think no matter if the world wants to hear it or not.  They have an opinion on everything and everybody and Yelp is a great way for the world to hear how every place in town has served or not served their needs.

The Smile Sharing, Fun Loving Yelp Reviewer

If you have all positive Yelp reviews, then you’re a person that loves to smile and wants to see other people smile, and you figure what better way to spread smiles than point people to businesses that have made you smile.  After all, if you once bought a cookie that put a smile on your face all day long, you figure that everybody deserves a cookie.  And a smile, of course.

The Glass Is Always Empty Yelp Reviewer

If you have mostly negative reviews, then you’re probably someone who is, well, a tad hard to please.  You just figure that you have high standards, and you just can’t figure out why the world can’t get it together.  It’s easy, all they have to do is read your Yelp review and make the necessary corrections, and things would be much better, am I right?

The Facts of Life Yelp Reviewer

There are people who will write a positive review but will have to include something negative, or vice versa.  An overwhelmingly positive or fully negative review just doesn’t exist.  If it’s good, you can’t let a good review get to their head, and if it’s bad, you have to provide some encouragement.  You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have….this type of Yelp reviewer!

The Foodie Yelp Reviewer

If all of your Yelp reviews are tied to restaurants, then you’re definitely a foodie, and your reviews should be the ones at the top of the list to get a true sense of whether that soup stand is worth the wait or not.

The Yelp Reviewer With The Best of Intentions

If your Yelp review gets three stars (out of five) and a one sentence review, like “Pretty good, but could be better” then you fall squarely into this category.  You put your review out there, oblivious that any person reading it will come away with no more information after reading it than they had beforehand.  As for whether you’d go back?  Well, that’s a definite maybe!

The Name Dropping Yelp Reviewer

You don’t just review “B&C Electronics”, you review every person that works in the store.  From Joe, the person that greeted you, to Cassandra, the cashier that smiled but gave you the wrong change, to Bill, the manager who explained the return policy to you as you walked out, you make sure that everybody gets credit, good or bad, for their work.

The Roach Whisperer Yelp Reviewer

I love reading reviews of hotels, even hotels that I never visit or plan to visit, only because there is always, without fail, a person who finds roaches or other bugs in their room.  You could have 100 reviews where things are perfect, but there is always one person that somehow manages to go into their room and find roaches.  Sometimes they’re dead, sometimes they’re alive, and it usually so happens that the bugs somehow bring along the condition known as ‘Noisy Air Conditioner Syndrome’ to the room, as well.

The Mobile Device Yelp Reviewer

Ever see the Yelp reviews that are written in all lower case (or worse yet, all upper case), have about one-third the punctuation that one would normally expect to see, and three times the spelling errors that pass the limits of being acceptable?  Chances are, you’ve found the person who does Yelp on their smart phone, and haven’t quite mastered the art of touch screen typing.

The Forgetful Yelp Reviewer

There’s always the person that wrote one Yelp review like four years ago and then never did anything else.  Chances are they forgot their password.

Readers, am I the only person that gets a kick out of Yelp reviews?  What type of Yelp reviewer are you? 

18 thoughts on “The 10 Types of Yelp Reviewers, Which One Are You?”

  1. What an interesting article….kinda of made me look at myself critically. I’ve never commented on Yelp but have made other comments when I felt they needed to be made. Like the “kudos” I provided to Home Depot for a “customer appreciation day” at my local HD. I’m in there “toooo much” and for them to take the time to have an event to reward their customers was great and I felt HD brass should know about it. On the other hand I have a GE microwave that has the coating on the inside of the unit that is peeling around the magnatron only, after 3 years of light use. GE’s answer is the the paint is “non-toxic”, BUT ya might want to stop using the micro…REALLY? I will never buy another GE microwave again…their protocal for “making things right” ….leaves a bit to be desired. Thanks for the article…

  2. This is hilarious and so true! I only tend to review on Yelp if I had a really negative experience and want everyone to know about it.

  3. I review based on experience, nothing more nothing less. If someone trashes your business on Yelp, you don’t have to sit back and take it. Study and do something….

    • Telling the truth and trashing are two different things. If someone has a bad experience, they should be allowed to share. I agree that trashing, going out of your way to tell lies, exaggerate the truth, or make the impact greater than it should be (e.g. more than one review) is crossing the line.

  4. I rarely review but if I do, I try to be completely thorough, good or bad, and only mention things that are relevant. So frequently we see reviews complaining about things like they only got three crayons or some such that hasn’t anything to do with the food or actual service.

    We use Yelp pretty heavily here when we eat out or try a new business and I confess to have a bit of a TripAdvisor review addiction for hotels.

  5. Looking at the list, I guess I would fall under positive reviewer. I’m a big believer on getting the word out on fantastic restaurants that focus on good service.

  6. Well, I’d fit into a different category: “prospective” Yelp reviewer. I’ve been wanting to get on Yelp, with the primary purpose being to highlight places I really like or have great experiences at. Or, the infrequent bad experience as well.

  7. Haha this is great. I used to do a bunch of Yelp reviews (mostly positive reviews to help business owners) but stopped awhile back using the service to find places to dine because I found many reviews irrelevant. I usually skip the very long winded analyze every detail reviews too.

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