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This one falls into the category of ‘Things You Never Want Anybody To Know About'.

But, once it becomes clear that's never going to happen, it makes sense to share the details and the aftermath.

The details

Picture it.  Fall 2010.  A cool fall day in Michigan.  (OK, I used to watch the Golden Girls, too, but that's not even the confession here).

I was taking apart the patio furniture for the season.  The chairs went into the garage.  Next up was the umbrella.  The patio umbrella went through the hole in the glass table, fitting into an umbrella holder that sat on the deck below.

This had never presented a problem.  Until now.

The umbrella had swelled from humdity over the summer.  So, I pulled it out (over the tabletop), only a plastic ring that was part of the base came with it.  This little ring was bigger than the hole, so the umbrella wouldn't come through.

I tried to put it back down into the base, so that I could work the ring loose, only the top-heavy umbrella wasn't lined up perfectly, so it leaned a bit to the side.

Placing pressure on the glass.  Just enough pressure that…..


There went the glass tabletop.

Into roughly 6,402,102 little pieces (thank goodness for tempered glass).

After sweeping and sweeping the glass was gone.

I put all the remaining pieces (sans a glass tabletop….and my dignity) into the garage.  Next was shamefully admitting the deed to my wife, who was not too happy.

The aftermath

We needed a table.  Somehow.  I was hoping that Lowes still carried the table and that I could just buy a new one.

We waited until early 2011 when they started stocking stuff, to find out that they did…..not.


We looked around everywhere trying to find a gray/slate color table that would match.

Apparently, everybody got together at some ‘Patio Table Furniture' conference and decided that nobody was going to make these anymore.

Mrs. Beagle kept telling me to see about replacing the glass.

The table, at original purchase, was $150.  I called a glass/mirror place near our house who would replace it for $170.

I balked because it didn't make sense to replace the glass for more than I had paid for the table.

Then, I started thinking about it. I went to the garage and looked at the frame.  I realized that the frame itself, which was still good, was nothing special.  In other words, most of the original cost of the table had been in the glass itself.

Suddenly, that decision didn't seem so hard.  Even if I found another table for $150, chances are $120 of that was going to be for the glass anyways.

So, for an extra $50, I was getting it in a frame that matched everything else we had, and I was also getting a piece of glass that was (hopefully) better (the place got great reviews) and was installed better than it had been originally.

In the end, I got the replacement glass.  Paying the bill stung, but I guess there is a price to pay for doing something stupid.

From now on, I'll be having help when I put together or take part any patio furniture.  It only took me $170 to learn that lesson.